Mallu 4 life YO.!!

Hey lowely ladies im a Mallu from the east,

Look at my chest hair I look like a beast,

I know u chechies are all fat but still good looking,

Can someone get the smell of beef olathiede cooking??

Land I have purchased with all my black money,

Just to see a smile on my oily haired honey,

Worked in Dubai and many hearts I have won,

If only honey knows I will have to lift my mundu and run.

Toddy and fish fry, they make my day special,

Every morning I catch fish and keep ready in the vessel,

Honey does the cooking and then kills them ants,

While I iron my orange and yellow striped underpants.

We sit together at night while the kerosene lamp burns dimly,

Watching Asianet and go AIYYO AIYYO SIMBLY,

Staring at the backwaters and thinking about trash,

While I sit twiddling my thick black and unruly moustache.

If music be the food of life, Gobble Up..!!

Music is something, soothing to the ear,

Lying on the bed while having a glass of beer,

When you’re tired and you’ve had a bad day,

Music comes in and sends that feeling away.

Music is what my life is based upon,

Sticks with me when everything else is gone,

Clears my mind and cheers me up,

Like drinking alcohol from a plastic cup.

Songs from the 60’s, perfect to dance,

Disco times, people falling in a trance,

To the kind of music people used to play,

Rock fever is now here to stay.

If music be the food of life, play on,

All through the night till the early morn,

For the people who are drunk and shake their butt,

They wake up in the morning with a virginity cut.

When Good meets Evil

Times have gone when the good stood tall,

There's always Evil that will make you fall,

Truth and lies on the same page,

It all begins with a speck of rage.

Giving in to evil is no more an option,

Read the fine print and not just the caption,

And when you work well you reach your glory,

Or just end up a victim of the Indian crab story.

People raise you up just to bring you down,

Put you on a pedestal and make you wear a crown,

Then snatch it away even before you could blink,

Left speechless I just sit there and think.

I wont give up until good meets evil,

Face to face, like a lion king sequel,

Destroyed completely without leaving a trace,

I walk away gently with a smile on my face.

Parlez vous the French..

People are fit and always in shape,

It’s because they have sex even before they date,

Go at it till 4am but they are not yet done,

They wake up at 6 and then go for a run.

Sports is what drives them, they play everyday,

The men, the ladies and even the gay,

They bathe together, what a disgrace,

Don’t look up u’ll have balls in ur face.

They love their movies, theatres are always full,

Omnia is the place, horse humping a bull,

Thriller or porno every one wants to watch,

Even those niggers, standing and holding their crotch.

The clubs are crazy and open all night,

All the pretty ladies, sexy and tight,

Dancing nuts to butts with people they don’t even know,

Some one else’s wife or a neighbourhood whore.

Having house parties, something very wrong,

Women just come in wearing a thong,

You invite 4 but then there are 20,

Passed out on the floor cause the alcohol was plenty.

Its always cold and the rain doesn't stop,

But there is no bad time for the champagne to pop,

Parties are on and there is no one to blame,

All the fun starts after the drinking game.

AT THE MALL

Last week I was bored , what do I do,

Go to the mall, yeah thats true,

All the young people moving and popping,

While the old aunties are doing some window shopping.

I climbed the steps then took the escalator,

To my right I can see a big green alligator,

Lacoste international, something new to me,

Buy 2 they say and get 1 free.

I enter the shop and what do I see,

Love at first sight my bride to be,

She was buying a shirt, I wonder for whom,

I'll beat him blue with my mother’s broom.

All disappointed I left the place,

Was thinking to my self what a disgrace,

I went to shop, to buy my wife a ring,

To stop her from complaining for every single thing.

Super Hero

When the world is in trouble whom do you look too,
A man in a bathing suit yes that’s true,
Flying around the streets in a bright yellow cape,
Bend down monkey, he'll f*# k u like an ape.

Trouble trouble, a woman cries out,
Flying to the rescue with a sock in his mouth,
Beats up the bad guys and saves the day,
Making it safe in every single way.

It happened once and it happened twice,
Someone stole the 3 blind mice,
They ran up the clock and lost their way,
Oh my God, is our super hero gay.??

Caught red handed with a bottle of ants,
The mice were running right down his pants,
The world is still not save for me and u,
Cause our super hero like animals too.

Bang-cock in Thailand

Met this woman on a main street way,
Half drunk and in a sway,
Din know if she was straight or gay,
I din have any money to pay.

I blurted out a question, whats your rate,
Feeling horny its time to mate,
Oh my God,I'm in such a weird state.
Let me loose I'll masturbate.

I bargained my way from fifty to ten,
Then she tells me her name is Ben,
I was in trouble I knew it then,
I felt like I was gonna f@#k a hen.

The sheets were clean without a speck,
I thought to my self what the heck,
I asked for a job with a little peck,
She said bastard give me my money or ill break your neck.