The Girlfriend I' ve never known

Someone so special, so rare and unique,
To find in a million is a daunting feat,
Finally when you think its gonna work out,
They will knock you down or say shut your mouth.

The passion inside of me has now gone bitter,
After things fell apart when I was with her,
Again and again it flashes in my head,
Gives me night mares when I am in bed.

A song for life, a song for death,
This is one I won’t regret,
Pains and sorrows, love and joy,
I sit and cry like a little school boy.

Broken and shattered I carry on with life,
Livin cut throat, on the edge of a knife,
Takin everythin that comes my way,
Hopin that good luck is here to stay.

On my wedding day

Standing at the altar with a thought in my head,
Of no other women with me in bed,
But a new kind of feeling takes over my mind,
Of a cow, a horse and a goats behind.

Slowly but faintly in the distance I could see,
A fat and round figure, my wife to be,
Walking down that aisle, in a Sleeveless gown,
I was thinking to my self, God, let me not frown.

She reached the alter and I took her hand,
With the sound of the trumpet in the church band,
The readings were done and the ceremony began,
It was then that I knew I was the right man.

Again and again it haunts me though,
Every single time I walk out that church door,
Now we are married two years and a half,
And have a baby who looks like a calf.

One night stand

Waiting in line for a one night stand,
Standing at the door with a girl in my hand,
Filthy thoughts creep up in my mind,
like a horse against a goats behind.

I take her to the bed and remove her top,
Then she keeps yelling don bloody stop,
she climbs on top of me and bites my chin,
she is half way through an orgasm.

The night was rough, but it all ended well,
She farted all over and left a bad smell,
With panty in hand she runs to the door,
oh my god what a whore.

Fear of pregnancy she takes a pill,
And runs to the doc cause she felt ill,
Pukin and vomiting and getting labour pains,
With drugs and alcohol flowing through her veins.

CBS- The place to be...

One year is what our course is all about,

Learning from Kotler right up to Jack Trout,

Theory and concepts all in a perfect mix,

Taught in tandem along with marketing tricks.

Teachers and guest lecturers imbibe what they know,

While we as students have to add to the flow,

Taking and receiving all that is hurled,

Making us ready for the real world.

Fresher’s and work experienced all working together,

Sharing thoughts and feelings among one another,

Having discussions and debating it all,

Sticking with each other even in times of fall.

From advertising to PR everything is taught,

Subjects are structured and the portions sought,

To things that are necessary for us to know,

Before we walk out, that college door.

So come to CBS, don’t have no doubt,

Once you’r in you won’t feel like getting out,

The pressure is high, but you won’t choke,

Cause we are managers and are taught to cope.

The grab at Pothys

My friend from class wanted to grab an arse,

But she did not know how to do it,

In a crowded place there was loads of space,

So she went straight right at it.

They went to a sari shop, but she couldn’t stop,

The feeling she had inside her,

So she looked at the hunk and grabbed a chunk,

Of the arse he carried behind him.

Pothys was the name of the place,

Oh my God ,what a disgrace,

The dude is cheap and in our class ,

Yet she wanted to grab his arse.

The people around then looked and smiled,

At my friend who had gone wild,

She was all out dirty and full on charge,

Laughing and enjoying that massage.

Happy about it she turned and stood,

He smiled at her cause he felt so good,

Of that huge grab that came out right,

He was wanking it off all that night.

All beaten up

At eleven or so I got a call,
Picked up to hear ma friend was in a brawl,
Full of frights and no content,
Poor bugger had met with an accident.

I rushed to the spot to find him there,
People all crowded round, scary I swear,
To help my friend who was in a fight,
After the bike accident, earlier that night.

He banged a policeman and knocked him out,
He fell to the ground with blood in his mouth,
Partly unconscious and his femur split,
We knew we were in some bad shit.

Six navy men came, most of them high,
They started reacting I dono why,
Hitting my friend and punched his chest,
I think you don wanna know about the rest.

They hit me too and I fought back,
He punched me and I gave him a smack,
Shirt all torn I began to run,
One navy guy took out a gun.

Caught me at last a kilometre away,
I knew I had no chance any way,
With a broken nose I fell to the road,
With blood all over I looked like a dead toad.

An experience so weird but one to remember,
This actually happened in the month of September,
Every single image still fresh in my mind,
Never again will attempt any thing of such kind.

To all you poem freaks, this one goes out to you...

This is for all you poem freaks out there,

Jot down your versus like ya just don care,

And when you’re in thought and nothing comes to mind,

Sit down and think on your fat behind.

Struggling to find topics you come up with shit,

It starts off all well and ends in a fit,

And for all those people who can’t make words rhyme,

You need to use your head and take your own time.

Poems can be structured or unstructured as well,

They could be fun or sick as hell,

One thing to remember, you have to let go,

All out insane, your thoughts have to flow.

It could be funny or serious to start,

Should pierce through the soul like an elephant dart,

They make an impression that sticks in ya head,

Like indelible ink in black and red.

So go ahead and try it, it could be real fun,

Cause once ya at it, you have the game won,

So take a pen and paper and begin to think,

Oh Manmohan Singh in patani pink.

Indian Premier League

Money is bid and players are bought,

Then they are split and the money is sought,

Owners are strict and make their men perform,

Failing which they are given a resignation form.

Forty five days and fifty six matches,

Playing ball and taking catches,

Youngsters come in and score the runs,

The audience consists of priests and nuns.

The masses are watching, in a thousand fold,

Sachin’s getting run out and Dravid’s getting bowled,

Then there is Sehwag leading the team from Delhi,

Hitting fours and sixes in a down town gully.

The royal challengers seem to be pretty well equipped,

But every match they play they are getting their arses whipped,

And the Deccan chargers so strong yet so meek,

The chances of them winning has become very weak.

Cricket and more, we find everything here,

Including Vijai Mallya, good lookin gals and a beer,

But this is all done just to create a hype,

By a bunch of committee members and some arse wipe.

Donate...

Children so fragile so young and small,

It really isn’t their fault at all,

Having Aids and bearing the pain,

Living their life with nothing to gain.

Change a life and build a dream,

Sharing hugs like a flowing stream,

Bringing colour back into their lives,

Young and old, husbands and wives.

Disaster strikes and lives are hit,

People are crying and throwing a fit,

So come forth and bring all you can give,

For the people with this unbelievable willingness to live.

What about now, what about today,

Making a difference in each and every way,

Donate your money and show some love,

Reciprocate what you’ve got from above.

Dreams

Dreams are wierd, they only come at night,
It may be your destiny, may be your plight,
You might be sleeping , but then you will pass,
wake up in a hurry with your finger in ya arse.

Scary as they seem they always do appear,
Back every night to create a fear,
In every one who dares to sleep it off well,
It gives them the frights and the nightmares of hell.

Sometimes they are wet and sometimes dry,
Some make ya laugh and some make you cry,
Talking in your sleep and thats just the start,
Sleep walkin as we see it is considered an art.

Getting rid of these dreams is yet another task,
You'll feel like Michael Jackson with a monkey's mask,
Waking up at night and eating a cup of corn,
Listening to Aerosmith singing 'Dream on'

The old tea kadai

Remember the time we met at the tea kadai,
Sharing the last medhu vada,
Full of oil and rancid ghee,
It was us, just you and me.

Long hours we spent at our meeting point,
Drinking tea and smoking a joint,
Piping hot at 90 degrees,
Those hard, rubbery, stale idlies.

Very unhygienic but we din care,
Cause that was the only time we could spare,
Dust and dirt and flies on the cake,
Next day we were down with a stomach ache.

Again and again we visit that place,
No regrets and a smile on our face,
Back again to have a tea,
Just us, both you and me.

Booze

Booze is bad for health it screws up your liver,

It makes my heart thump it makes my feet shiver,

And when I am high there is no turning back,

Pick up that bong and smoke some crack.

You forget all your worries it takes you out,

You will fall to your feet with froth in your mouth,

And when your down its hard to get up,

But when ya up you’l feel like havin another cup.

Money is pooled in the bottle is on joint venture,

By the time they are done they are all in rehab center,

Takin medicines to stop the crave for liquor,

pinchin and biting the nurse even tryin to lick her.

The trip aint always good sometimes it sucks,

The smell don go away you need to use lux,

And the next time you see me standing in a spot,

Don walk away lets have another shot.

Indians

Indians they say are varied and vast,

There is no bloody difference between a creed and a cast,

Indians are Indians wherever they go,

Cause we are Indians alas!

Free food or gifts and we are always there,

Right in a jiffy with no time to spare,

But satisfaction never does appear,

Cause we are Indians alas!

Corruption is up and here to stay,

But we as Indians always find a way,

Paying up bribes and finding twists,

Cause we are Indians alas!

India is full of snakes and gorillas,

But the only things we find are Razzaqs and Abdullahs,

Terrorism now a part of us be,

Cause we are Indians alas!

People are friendly and will always be there,

Be it a fight or a horse humpin a mare,

But when your in trouble no one you see,

Cause we are Indians alas!

Population is a billion and increasing by far,

Women are getting pregnant every minute of the hour,

Illetracy is what busts our growth,

Cause we are Indians alas!

People are different you needn’t go far,

In the south the pandies, the north the sardar,

Then again each one ,yet so unique,

Cause we are Indians alas!